Here’s why I didn’t accept your LinkedIn invitation

I know, I know. A lot of people have already written about the state of LinkedIn, and it remains a contentious topic for users of the platform. And normally, I shy away from ranting about such things, especially if they’ve been discussed to death.

In this instance, though, I feel the need to make an exception and share my thoughts on LinkedIn invites and networking via the platform. As someone who led the development of a social media presence for my employer, I’ve crafted best practices around LinkedIn profiles for my company, trained executives and leaders on how to best use LinkedIn, introduced advertising via the platform for our division, and spoken about LinkedIn at multiple conferences, including SocialMedia.org, the Social Shake-Up, and PR News events.

That said, here’s my take…

Your network is not a collection of baseball cards.

Quantity vs Quality

At its essence, every LinkedIn user uses the platform in one of two ways; Quantity or Quality.

Using the platform with an eye to Quantity usually translates into having as large a network as possible. These are folks who may identify themselves as “LION”s, which is an acronym for “LinkedIn Open Networker.” It may not surprise you to learn that many individuals using this approach are involved in recruiting, human resources, or sales. After all, sales and recruiting is a numbers game. The wider your net, the more people you can filter through to find a qualified lead and meet your sales/recruiting goals.

Using the platform with an eye to Quality, on the other hand, means limiting connections to people you know and have a personal connection with. These are the folks who hate seeing a post in their feed and thinking, “Who is that?” They’re also more apt to be senior leaders and tenured professionals who must fiercely guard their time and availability.

That’s because there’s an inverse relationship between career success and the number of people reaching out to you unsolicited. When you’re young and starting out, no one returns your calls. When you’re in a senior role, every sales exec, job candidate, and MBA student wants to meet you for coffee. It gets overwhelming very quickly.

How did this happen?

If you’ve been in the social media game for (ahem) a while, like I have, then you remember when social platforms were new and growing. Back then, the name of the game was “reach.” In other words, how many people could potentially see your post and interact with it. Personally or professionally, the best way to make your name on social media was to have a huge audience.

Today, however, that’s no longer the case. As more and more companies use social media as an advertising channel, platforms continue to revise and tweak their algorithms to provide an optimal balance of revenue-generating sponsored content, along with posts from people you actually know and care about. It’s a tricky balance, and an important one for social media platforms to get right.

(Even just a few weeks ago, we all heard about Facebook’s most recent news feed change and what that meant for companies. And I’m sure we’ll hear similar stories throughout 2018.)

Now those algorithm changes, combined with an ever-growing network, means a lot of stuff I see in my LinkedIn feed may be posts I don’t care about; or worse yet, posts from people I don’t remember or even know.

Cleaning things up

So I’ve changed my approach, and make similar recommendations to colleagues, friends, and leaders when asked;

In short, I’m scaling back. Instead of Quantity, I’m focused on Quality.

In order to do that, I’ve started really scrutinizing my connections. If we met once several years ago, and haven’t spoken since I don’t consider you a connection. If I accepted your invite because you reached out and introduced yourself, but I never heard from you again, then I don’t think of you as a connection. My mindset is that if I would have to re-introduce myself when I reached out to you, then we don’t really know each other.

Harsh? Maybe. Necessary? Definitely.

It also means that generic connection invitations from people I don’t know immediately get ignored. If you can’t be bothered to write a sentence or two saying why you want to connect, why would someone accept the invitation? Last time I checked, none of us have developed the ability to read minds.

Look, I get it. Some of you aren’t going to agree with me, and you shouldn’t have to. Depending on your profession and career, you may need a more Quantitative approach to social media. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But I’m not a trading card, either. LinkedIn profiles are not things to collect and hoard simply because you can. Your network is not a collection of baseball cards.

And people who think that way, to be honest, are part of the reason social media gets a bad wrap. We’re losing sight of the benefits of these systems because we gamify them instead of treating them as a digital version of who we are in real life.

(Don’t even get me started on the “perfect person” syndrome so many of us see on Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms.)

What now?

So my advice to you is this; if you have a valid reason to connect with someone on LinkedIn, do it. But take the time to introduce yourself and explain why. If you’re in sales and think they might be interested in your product, be upfront. If you’re an MBA student trying to find an internship and the individual is an alumnus, say that. Don’t ever make people guess.

Just because someone scrutinizes their connections, doesn’t mean they won’t connect with new people. It simply means the bar is higher when you make a first impression.  

Up your game just a little bit, and you’ll be glad you did.